The crushing feeling of everything becoming too much is a subject that surfaces on a regular basis.
I’ve been coaching for quite a few years now, in-house and more latterly as an independent and whilst client needs vary enormously, one theme surfaces on a regular basis, that of being overwhelmed or as a client recently noted being “stuck in overwhelmingness”.
- How do you deal with overwhelm?
- Why is it happening?
- What can you do to ease the situation?
This is where coaching can add value.
Coaches are good at creating space and through some thoughtful questioning and attentive listening, help their coachees to unpack what it is that is holding them back or keeping them awake at night.
It’s not always what it seems
So often in coaching conversations the start point isn’t actually the main issue.
With my client who was overwhelmed, the actual issue was his management style. We noted that he was doing a lot for other people, rather than helping them to do things for themselves – “teaching them how to fish” as the ancient proverb goes.
Clients often say to me that just hearing themselves articulate their issues has provided some clarity, the start-point.
Some might say, “what’s the point of coaching?”
Isn’t it just a fad.. a bit touchy feely, tree huggy, beloved of HR and an excuse for managers not to do their jobs properly – “oh, performance issues – s/he needs coaching”.
Well, depending on your perspective, it could be any of those things, but I hope to convince you in this and future blogs that coaching can be really useful in helping with many areas, not just under performance.
Before engaging a coach
There are many coaches around so if you’re thinking of working with a coach, it’s vital to ensure that the coach is the “right fit.”
Coaches are very accustomed to arranging an initial exploratory session sometimes referred to as a chemistry session, so take advantage of that. They should be free of charge and we are fine with people feeding back that we weren’t quite the right person to work with.
Coaches all have their own approach, style and experience which may or may not be right for you.
Action plan
My approach is action oriented and typically the coachees that I work with identify an action plan which we revisit and update at future sessions.
We also start with discussing some objectives, after all you wouldn’t set out on a journey without having some sense of where you wanted to go and you can be sure that there’ll be some learning along the way.
Self-awareness is really key in being more effective.
We all have strengths and weaknesses. Coaching can provide a mirror to, pardon the pun, reflect how our behaviours are impacting others.
I use a really great behavioural assessment tool, more of that in future blogs. A greater acknowledgement of “self” is a powerful aspect of any coaching work.
Back to how you are feeling
If you’re stuck in overwhelmingness, why not review your calendar.
Do you really need to be at all those meetings?
Are you wasting your valuable time attending to tasks that others should have actioned?
Do you really know how to give constructive feedback to lighten your load?
Being stuck in overwhelmingness is really only the beginning. If that’s you or a friend or work-colleague, please get in touch. I’d be delighted to have a chat about the approach I take with my clients and whether coaching is the right solution for you.